Dear Friends,

 

The wedding season  is at its peak in these summer weeks, and we’re having an especially busy time in our parish this year – 18 weddings between March and November.  All those who marry in one of our two churches have some sort of connection with it – either they actually live in the parish, or they attend the church and are on the electoral roll.  It’s true that a beautiful church is an attraction when it comes to planning a wedding, and sometimes it can seem that couples simply want a pretty venue with a good background for the photographs.  Sometimes, however, even superficial reasons can provide a first point of contact – a reason for walking into a strange building and asking if that can be the setting for their special day.  Who knows what might happen as a result?  Getting married is a good time to take stock and reflect upon what are the things that really matter, to think about the values on which a couple will build their future together.  We are glad to welcome those who genuinely want to establish a relationship with either of our churches, and are willing to make the commitment of coming to church regularly for at least six months before the wedding, so that by the time their big day arrives, they really feel that it’s ‘their church’, and they are part of our parish family. 

 

The wedding date is sometimes fixed as far as two years ahead, and then, in the preceding autumn, wedding couples are sent all the information they need for planning their wedding in our parish, together with an invitation to attend a Marriage Preparation Weekend in the spring.  Three or four couples together attend a weekend at the Rectory, beginning with supper on the Friday evening when they get to know one another, and then on the Saturday they work hard, as couples, exploring the backgrounds from which they have come, their hopes and expectations for their life together, and working through some of the issues which they are likely to encounter, such as communication difficulties, handling conflict, attitudes to children, money, time, work/leisure, sexuality – or whatever else needs to be discussed.  There’s time to share ideas in a relaxed setting, and many say how much they appreciate the chance to take time out from the hassle of organising the day itself to concentrate instead on what it’s really all about.  Then on the Sunday afternoon we have another session planning the service itself – looking at the different parts of the marriage service, choosing readings, hymns, prayers and music, and most importantly, discussing the difference being married in church makes.  When the couple have worked out their order of service, they come back to the Rectory for a final interview a few weeks before the wedding.  By the time the rehearsal and the day itself comes, we know each other pretty well, and I hope that I can speak to them at the service in a way that is really personal to them.

 

A lot of work is involved in all this behind the scenes, not just for me, but for Paula our parish administrator, for Eddie our Verger, and Jean, who writes up all the registers so beautifully; for our organists Don at Wraxall and Adrian at Failand, and the choir; for Sue and the flower arranging team, Bob and the bell-ringers: it’s a team effort.  But we are well-rewarded, and I think the couples marrying in our parish feel well cared for – it is a very important aspect of our pastoral outreach. One thank-you from the couple after their wedding said: ‘You made us feel so welcome in your home and in the church. Our wedding day was the best day of our lives, and we agree the service was our favourite part, with such a wonderful service and having our union blessed by God. It really meant the world to us.’

 

Early in the marriage service is a promise made by all those in the congregation (we practise it before the service) and it goes like this:

‘Will you, the families and friends of A. and B. support and uphold them in their marriage, now and in the years to come?’, to which the answer is, we hope, a resounding ‘We will!’

Marriage is a great leap of faith, however strong the love which has prompted this commitment, and couple need all the support they can get, both from their families and friends, and from the church family. (A greater degree of support from the government, in the form of tax incentives, would also help to strengthen and affirm the value of value of marriage in society.) The pressures are enormous, both as regards the day itself (the glossy magazine image of the ‘dream wedding’ in which  

no expense is spared) and the actual marriage – expectations are higher than they have ever been. Let us offer all the support, care and love that we can, to help these couples build together marriages that will not only survive but flourish.

 

Congratulations and warmest good wishes to all those who are marrying in our parish this year, and may God bless you with long, strong, loving marriages.

 

With love,

 

Rosey